In Kangaroo Valley and in the Kangaroo River

Thanks to Jim for suggestions about adding pictures. I'll see what I can do.

Coming to Wollongong we had mostly followed the main highway. The main detour had been a frivolous decision to visit Clifton, NSW and compare it to Clifton, Bristol. We drove the ten miles only to find, about 1/2 mile from our destination, that the Clifton road had fallen into the sea. There's one difference. We thought it might be possible to skirt the village and come by another road which led us to the small town of, I think, Helensburgh. Helensburgh was very much a dormitory town. The houses were new, the gardens well cultivated. It had a slight "Desperate Housewives" feel to it. The lollipop lady was clearly surprised that anyone should be driving down the road - I think we made her day as we conveniently slowed down to give her a chance to grab her lollipop and guide a child across the road. And then we got completely lost because there is one area in which road signs aren't very good: how to get from A to B. Or in this case how to get from A to anywhere with a population of more than 10. Eventually, driving more or less at random, we came upon

It's hard to imagine that the people of Helensburgh include many Hindus but if they do they have a full size temple with all the extras (it was unfortunately closed for the afternoon). There are quite a lot of Buddhist temples around as well, some very large. The Rough Guide always focusses on how good is the food they offer. Maybe they could extend their guide to cover the quality of wine used in the Christian churches and whether the wafers are organic.

We did eventually get to Clifton. It was almost a ghost town. We ate sarnies sitting on a cliff overlooking the Pacific Ocean. Even a three house hamlet in NSW has something to admire even if it is only the same magnificent view as every other tiny village. Something like ...

After Wollongong we began to move inland. We went up the Macquarrie Pass, missed both the 'official' lookout point and the walk to see the waterfalls. The rest of the week has taught us that there are lookout points everywhere - indeed just stop your car anywhere and get out - and waterfalls are two a penny. If, like me, you aren't a great fan of temperatures in the 35-40 degree range, you also learn what a wonderful invention cars with good air conditioning are. I started to view the car as a sort of reverse sauna. You drive in cool and comfort, sometimes even shivering a bit. You stop. You get out. You turn into a pool of grease, bubbling slightly at the edges. You ooze back in the car and reconstitute your normal body. You feel physically and morally improved. You drive on, at one with the universe.

We visited sub-equatorial rain forest next. It was hot and humid as you might expect and contained amazing trees, lyre birds, butterflies as big as plates and yet more waterfalls. Well, waterfalls are quite pretty. And sitting next to one on a hot day is heavenly.

Our stopping place for the night was Kangaroo Valley but as always, what you see as you travel is as interesting as arriving. To reach the valley you have first to climb up through country which looks ever more English as you get higher. There are always eucalypts but as you get higher there are fewer palms and ferns. You begin to see fields of lush grass, mostly with sleek looking horses. Then as you descend on the other side the eucalyptus returns and there are signs of recent storms with great trees uprooted. Further down in the valley you are in an approximation to English farm land. Big fields with cows reach toward a rim of mountains. There are hedges and small stands of trees rather than forest. A stream ripples beside the road as you come to the village of Kangaroo Valley.

It is a rather alternativey, sub-trendy, wood turning, ayurvedic medicine, focaccia bread and marinated aubergine sort of place. Hopeless if you want to buy a screwdriver or an alarm clock but great for dried flowers, patchouli oil or any one of 17 different types of olive. Also there are five cafes in about twenty yards. We stop at one where the walls are papered with old ads from women's magazines - most of which we can remember from our childhood, and worryingly some from adulthood. We realise how lucky we are to have left them behind and drink our smoothies.

Always on the look out for a new experience, we hire a cabin at the holiday camp. The camp is run by Amanda who looks about 14 but is in fact a student at Uni. She's from Albury in the West of the State, studying Eco Tourism at the local university. She's been to Sydney but didn't like it. She seems very child-like and entirely enthusiastic about eco-tourism. This particular camp is very un-eco which she hasn't really noticed until we point it out. Possible not a straight A student but very likable. She is particularly enthusiastic about the town of Thredbo. To Amanda it is the shining city on a hill (well she says "It's really cool." and it turns out to be at the bottom of a valley but you get the drift). She cannot imagine how anyone could come to Australia and not visit Thredbo so we promise we will.

There is a terrific storm in the night. A dog howls with such anguish that Eleanor is convinced a dingo is eating it but in the morning we are told it just ran off because of the storm. They would say that wouldn't they? But whatever the curious incident of the dog in night indicated (note to all pedants: I am aware that the original curious incident is that the dog didn't bark) we decide to follow Amanda's other suggestion and take a canoe down the Kangaroo River. We are given basic advice from the canoe man and pushed off with the helpful maxim that a married couple in a canoe come back as two singles.

The early stages are a little erratic, not helped by the local wild life. The crows here go "ha ha ha" differently from those of Perth. Imagine someone who thinks you are beneath contempt saying that in a very sarcastic drawl and you've got it. And the kookaburras are laughing their heads off. We feel a bit cowed but off we go into the rapids.

As you will know if you saw "Deliverance" or "River Wild", the secret of successful white water canoing are: a) don't upset local inbred psychopaths and b) don't offer lifts to murderous armed robbers. Apart from that we know that you head for the V-shaped bit of water in rapids and paddle hard. What more do you need to know? Do I look scared? Does Eleanor look scared?


We whizz through, and the next one. Then we get confused about steering and a water dragon (a two foot long lizard) gets a nasty shock as the branch he's longing on is hit by the canoe. The crows go "ha ha ha", the kookaburras are hysterical. And we are stuck, the river rushes around us. Will we capsize? Is this the end for the gallant explorers? In a leap your intrepid blogger is out of the boat and seizing the prow drags the canoe free. Did I mention the water is less that 2ft deep? Eleanor thought I was quite brave, brave-ish at least, quite brave-ish, sort of. The sense of whiplash quick reflexes is slightly lessened by the fact that I had time to pass my camera to Eleanor, take off my shoes and socks and stow them safely before getting out of the boat.

We go through several more sets of rapids. Some we run, sometimes I get out and push/pull. At one embarassing point we get stuck and a couple of middle aged campers who are dangling their feet in the river from a rock insist on pulling us free. They are the only people we see in 2.5 hours - they just had to be there when we got stuck on a sand bank.

But mostly it is a beautiful and peaceful experience to glide down the river. We see lots of water dragons (the word has been passed around - they all hurry to avoid us). They are not pretty creatures but they have the pleasing property of looking just right. If you go into a toy shop you will find rubbler models of lizards. They look just like water dragons but a bit smaller. Conversely water dragons look as if they are made of rubber and tend to stand immobile for long periods unless they are run over by a canoe.

We also see herons, a cormorant and a kingfisher and things we can't identify (including a big moorhen thingy). Plus brown ducks but they are just brown ducks and don't really count. And the kingfisher is just another kookaburra. Australian kingfishers look remarkably like their English counterparts with blue feathers above and a peachy pink below. And, to their eternal credit, they don't laugh like their larger and more vulgar cousins.

We end the trip paddling between the remains of gum trees where the river was widened by dam building, we float to shore and pull the the canoe onto a sandy river beach and wait for our lift back. And we are still happily married.

Head out on the highway looking for .... Wollongong

Pictures are still a problem - even when I can find somewhere to put them on the web it costs a fortune to upload them in internet cafes. When I get back I'll do a slide show. For now back to words.

We hired a car and set of to explore. There are lots of big tourist sites, and we saw some, but we wanted to get a feel of what NSW is like to live in.

The first hour was just driving through suburbs heading south. Dame Edna fans will be sorry to hear we didn't see Moonie Ponds or any gladioli. Maybe it's not gladdi season. Almost every house did have big blue or white aliums however. I think this will be seen by future generations as a mistake. They are already beginning to colonise the bush and are all over NSW. No corrugated iron shack is so humble and no farmer's bungalow (with mock grecian columns) so grand as to be without the blue menace.

Driving is easy and roads are well sign posted. Eleanor's favourite sign was "Do not overtake if it is unsafe to do so", true but do you have to be told it? My favourite came later as we were ascending a steep pass in the outside lane. The road was narrow and winding, the drop precipitate and unprotected. A sign said, "Beware of large trucks reversing around corners on the wrong side of the road". I bewared as much as I could. Another feature, all along main highways, are signs telling you who to ring if you see a wounded animal. We never saw one for wounded people. Maybe you just pretend to be a wombat.

There are also lots of advertising hoardings. Macdonalds and KFC in particular. A couple of more quirky ones appealed to me, "Walk in skip hire" which could be useful if you had room in your pocket for a skip, but my all time favourite has to be, "Christmas presents for all occasions".

We encountered a more problematic sign in a small national park we passed through. Australia has thousands of national parks. Some as small as Wales. This one consisted almost solely of thorny scrub and notices saying "No jumping or diving within the park". Why would you dive into thorn bushes? Eventually we found a beautiful seaside lagoon where Eleanor went swimming. And at the end of the lagoon were rocks from which people were jumping and diving into the water. Sensibly there were no signs prohibiting such activities.

The park introduced us to another feature of Aussie life which was repeated thoughout our trip. 99.99% of Australians are welcoming, friendly people who will do anything to help a visitor. The remaining 0.01% work in tourist information offices. Trusting, hopeful visitor: "Do you have a map of this region?" "We've just got a road map of Wagga Womble" (three houses, a McDonalds and a sheep). "Which is the main road to Wollongong?" (there are only two possibilities). "Not sure really." On the other hand you can buy tea towels with aboriginal designs on them or biros shaped like boomerangs. You might be able to get a digeridoo - but don't expect any help on which end to blow

In Wollongong we stayed at a motel run by Sybil Fawlty: "We would remind you that this is not just a business; it is also our home and we ask visitors to respect it". She had both accent and intonation just right. So no throwing the fridge out the window then.

"What's a good Aussie beer?" I asked the barmaid.
"I don't drink beer", she replied.
"Well what does your boy friend drink?".
"Whatever's cheapest."
"Just give us a couple of beers then".
She gave us two Mexican beers with slices of lime in the bottle neck.

The next morning we strolled down towards the sea to be met by the most self possessed beggar I have ever encountered. He was about 16, wearing baggies, tee-shirt and baseball cap. He had obviously just returned from surfing. "Could you lend me a couple of dollars to ring my mother?". He might have done better had he not been carrying an obviously well stuffed wallet in his hand. Young people today etc.

I think I'm turning into a whingeing pom but I liked Wollongong. It has great locally caught fresh fish which are excellent eaten with a big bag of chips. Eating in Wollongong is snootily dismissed by the Rough Guide so yaboo to them.

Tomorrow we visit rain forests, go white water canoing, get wet (several times) and hear of the fabled delights of Thredbo. Watch this space.

Return of the Quokka

Right, to hurry on in approved Western Australian style, day 2, up at 5 am swam harbour, wrote short paper on Wittgenstein, trapped and ate a kangaroo for breakfast. No we didn't, this is decadent softee Sydney. Got up eventually, had a leisurely coffee, strolled (very slowly) to find an internet cafe and write up last weeks blog. I'm about a week behind with blogging so I'll try and speed up. Eleanor takes historical accuracy seriously but she's not writing the blog so the what follows is more, shall we say, impressionistic.

We strolled from Kings Cross to Hyde Park. How English it all sounds. En route we saw the sleazier side of Kings Cross - a lot of scope for the descendents of Sz Man King (pay attention at the back, Sz Man King founded the temple in H-K).

Walking across a very green and pleasant Hyde Park, en route to a light lunch on the grass under the trees, we visited the ANZAC memorial. I'm told that ANZAC day is very important here, not least because the traumatic experience of WWI made the Aussies really question for the first time their relationship with 'the Motherland' and start to think about being Australians first with their own priorities. The memorial is a small building, approached via steps. The room you enter lists the battles Australian forces have been in, from the Somme, Ypres, Vimey Ridge and of course the bloodbaths of Gallipoli and the Dardenelles, through WWII where they also fought closer to home and could feel they were defending their own families and country, and to Vietnam where feelings are more ambivalent.

But the main feature is a low circular wall from which you look down into a crypt-like room below. This is dominated by a art deco influenced but generally classical style bronze. It shows, life size, a small group of figures carrying a dead soldier. From above you look straight down onto the young naked body. He is carried on a shield with his broken sword beneath him. There is no attempt to suggest a particularly Australian corpse. He could be an ancient Greek or a figure from any age. His body is twisted - no dignity or peace in his death.

The bearers are all women, mothers have lost sons, sisters of lost brothers, wives without husbands. The obviously masculine body also reminds you of the children that won't be conceived and the generation lost.

Finally, you are looking down. Most memorials you look up. Even with some of the most determinedly anti-heroic statues in London, you look up at figures who, in their resolution and grimmness, look noble and even heroic. This is just a dead boy whose life was wasted in a cause he probably never understood.

As you can tell, it moved me and I'm not generally a war memorial type.

No more seriousness, we'll go to the zoo. Sydney Zoo means another ferry ride, followed by a bete noir of Eleanor's, a cable car ride. She keeps her cool despite the two small girls we shared the car with discussing what might happen if the motor stuck or the cable broke. Little did they realise that they were in much greater danger of being thrown to the crocodiles or worse.

Actually it was a bad time for visiting the zoo as every sensible creature was hiding from the heat. But they had quokkas. Those of you who have been thinking of anti-defamation action ('a quokka is not a rat') are vindicated. And those who have removed quokka from your Xmas card list should reinstate them. They are wallabies (don't ask me the difference between wallabies and kangaroos) and as I watch one I realise they aren't at all ratty and have quite sweet (but thin) fur on their tails. How could that delicately moulded face have ever looked rodent like?

There was also the Koala Experience, which I resisted. Koalas always look sad and now I know why. People can't resist patting them. To such an extent that New S Wales has made patting them an offence except on properly licensed koala patting stations. That faraway look in their eyes says "If I was a grizzly I'd bite your head off, a polar bear and I'd crush you with one blow, a panda and I'd be cosseted and fed fine bamboo. But I'm just a pretty koala with an acceleration of 0 - 4km/hour in three hours and I can't even run away. If that snotty child touches me with those sticky fingers I'll snarl and .... oh what the hell, I'm already black and blue with bruises under my fur. Here we go again. Ow."

Only one other thought from the zoo. All the major animals are sponsored by local firms. McDonalds sponsored the gorillas.

Given the range of jobs of my relatives and their partners, to say nothing of friends I won't tell you who sponsored the reptiles. What do you think would be an appropiate profession to associate with foul smelling Komodo dragons, all things slimey and "11 of the 15 most venomous snakes in the world"? Did the reptiles have a right of veto? Even taipans have feelings you know (mostly about who they are going to bite next).

Sydney at last

First an apology, if you tried clicking on the comment 'pencil' it didn't work. Well blogs are very complicated things and I got it wrong. Thirty years in computing wasted. I still don't read the instructions. In future click on any new entry and you should be able to leave a comment. Thanks to Alison for pointing out the problem and to Glyn for the interesting news about the coffee pot!

We arrived in Sydney on the evening before Australia Day. More time zone changes so while it seemed early evening to us, the Sydney-siders were going to bed. Which they do at about 10pm. We have had no problem with jet lag but what we can't get used to is the odd hours Australians keep. They get up at about 5am go swimming/surfing/walking, then go to work during the hot part of the day and by about 9.30pm most of them are ready for bed with only a few hardy souls still in restaurants and clubs. We just had time for a plate of pasta in a very pleasant Italian place before every thing closed. The waiter, an elderly grey haired man with a strong Italian accent, was very attentive. I thought he fancied Eleanor. Eleanor thought he fancied me. Well, this is Sydney! By chance we passed him in the street the next day and he said "hello", or rather being a good Australian, he said "how's it going?", so he remembered at least one of us.

I haven't yet got used to being greeted with "how's it going?" or the more formal "how are things with you today, mate?", or conversations ending with "be seeing you". What are the correct responses?

Wednesday morning we set off to see a bit of Australia Day. Apparently it has only become a big event in the last few years and seems to be very much a celebration of Australia and what it means to be an Australian. There is lots of emphasis on cultural diversity. The more radically minded aboriginal people call it "Survival Day" and take only a nominal part in the events. "Survival" may be over optimistic. A country which celebrates the absorption of people from everywhere else in the world still can't find a way of letting it's original occupiers live their sort of life.

Leaving our hotel we crossed the road to a small coffee shop which served really excellent coffee with croissants. I'm not a great coffee drinker but even I could taste the difference. A few yards frurther down the street finding our way became a bit more difficult. We were based in an area called King's Cross which contains an amazing mixture of housing and is far from the grid like structure of most Australian cities. There are modern villas set back among dark leaved ferns and palms, tiny maisonettes with maybe two rooms, old clapper board family houses, modern breeze block monstrosities, appartment blocks with art deco lettering, small hotels, cafes and restaurants of all sorts. Almost all older houses have deep verandahs so you can get out of the sun during the hotter part of the day. There are trees (the ubiquitous eucalyptus or palms mostly) along almost every street and every front garden has some sort of greenery. A bit too late in the year for most flowers. Not a gladdie in sight.
Click here for picture

We stopped at a corner shop to buy fresh nectarines, water and some more factor 30+ sun block (you just don't get lower strength). Completely lost we walked down an alley way at random and there was our first view of the bridge and opera house

in a vast harbour full of boats and surrounded with greenery. The thing which struck us most in the first couple of days was just how green everything is and how beautiful the harbour looks.

We spent most of the morning sitting on a spit of land, under a big eucalyptus, watching the boats, soaking up sun and atmosphere. It was only 35 degrees (note that 'only') and Sydney had turned out in full.


We visited Manley in the afternoon. To visualise Sydney imagine a coast line going N to S, cut out a irregular star shape from the land with one arm just reaching the sea. Central Sydney is at the west of the star, Manley on a small isthmus to the NE. When you get there by ferry there are beaches looking back across the harbour and about 1/4 mile away along a rather tacky pedestrian area (it reminded me of Weston-super-Mare but with sun and better looking people), is a fabulous silver sand beach facing Pacific rollers and packed with surfers. That bit isn't much like Weston at all. Didn't do much in Manley - I just wanted to get in a cheap crack about Weston. Could also add that Sydney ferries are much less efficient than H-K ones but who cares. Just sit back and enjoy.

In the evening to the firework display. Big screens in the harbours so we could be uplifted with stories about "new Australians", every race and colour represented. By the end everyone was getting a bit restless, admirable as it all was we wanted fireworks not a twenty minute life history from someone who had 'made it'. Fireworks were great as expected. At the end the first verse of "Advance Australia Fair was sung in a quavering voice by a pretty blond, blue eyed, eight year old (ethnic diversity has it's limits). The whole crowd stood and joined in but at the end of the first verse a 'real' singer took over from the little girl and the singing was noticably less. Confirming the comment in the Sydney Morning Herald that hardly anyone knows the second verse. So do you know the second verse of "God save the Queen"?

aaaargh the wicked librarian is throwing me off ..... back soon.

The Exotic East

Here is how to spend a fun three hours. Stuff 450 people into a tin can; make them sit on seats slightly narrower than they are; ensure their knees bang on the seat in front; provide an inadequate number of toilets; make the whole thing vibrate noisily; everyone has to breathe only the air exhaled by everyone else; only show one dreadful movie (but as a redeeming feature make it so bad that it doesn't matter that you can't hear the sound track); serve dreadful food at what feels like the wrong time of day.

So where is the fun? Easy, fly from Perth to Sydney on a clear day so you can see the ground below (if it isn't below there won't be much fun!).

As we left Perth, bush fires had been burning for a while. We couldn't see fires but the land was a complex pattern of browns. Near Perth the countryside is farm land on a similar scale to England with small fields clearly defined from the air. It looked like one of those Paul Klee pictures built up of slighly different shades of the same colour.

As you get further from Perth you can see that in the distance the brown becomes mottled with reddish and yellows where the real outback starts. Nearer in, Western Australia is full of dried up rivers which upset the straight line effect. As the rivers dry, circular shapes are left as the final pools dry up. It looks like a trail of bubbles crossing the land.

Next the scale of farming gets bigger. There are much bigger, oddly shaped pastures with stone outcrops. Rather than a burned grass look this is parched golden. There are darker dots which are probably small groups of gum trees but you can't tell properly any more. At one point we pass over a massive rocky area which from above looked as if it has been intricately carved into patterns of parallel lines which form a giant abstract, aboriginal picture.

About a third of the way into the flight you cross the coast into the Great Australian Bight. Initially their are tiny circular islands looking very similar to the earlier pools but this time inverted as land on water. And the water is just the colour it is in the travel ads. Sometimes it looks as though someone has added a massive "loo blue" block to the Pacific. After a bit, no more islands so watch the car chase on the movie.

We hit land again for the last third of the flight, initially repeating roughly what we saw before but as the East coast approaches the colour changes and we realize the Western Australians must be right. A patterns of greens this varied and lush must signify decadance and softness. Even from the air as the pastures get smaller and greener I'm feeling myself being seduced.

And so to Sydney, my next entry will tell you just how soft and effete a city it is.

Simon

Is anyone out there?

Hi everyone, or not as the case may be. I'm suffering from existential doubt. I know three people are reading this blog but is anyone else? If you go to www.bloggers.com you will find links to millions of blog sites. Most seem to be adolescent girls talking about lurve and bands; the rest are mainly adolescent boys talking about girls and computers (and with 'hands on' experience of the latter only). Maximum readership about one person per blog. Am I similarly wittering on to no one when my time could be better spent sitting in the sun? I've left the 'allow comments' flag set for this entry so if you're reading, you could click on the comment icon and say hello. I'd like to know you exist. Also gossip is welcome. Is Dee's daugher back from her travels? Did Ilona make it to the wedding in Washington? How is life in Clifton Wood Crescent? etc

Next a technical matter. One of my three regular readers has noted that having learned to use photos, there are some in one entry then no more. This is a technical problem. The photos are there in the camera but I have to find somewhere that lets me upload them to the net. All I need is a computer with a spare USB port but they don't seem to exist outside of Sydney. Hoping to find one when we get back there and then I'll update some of the entries.

You may rightly deduce from this that lots has happened since the last entry so I'll end this and do a proper blog.